C.O.P.E

What is your go to behavior when you are feeling a negative emotion? Sometimes we don’t even notice we are feeling negative emotion because we habitually engage in blocking behaviors in order to escape having to deal with it. And, ironically, those behaviors usually make things worse in the end. They don’t help us solve the real problem. The good news is that we can learn how to cope with any feeling that comes our way. To cope means to deal effectively with something difficult and like with anything else, it’s a skill that gets better with practice.  Negative feelings are simply vibrations in our bodies. They can’t hurt us if we learn to feel them all the way through. Here is a simple 4 step process, using the acronym COPE,  you can use when you notice a negative feeling. 

• Catch it.
  The first step is to notice it’s actually there which really does take some practice. Most of the time we are so used to automatically blocking negative emotion that we don’t even give ourselves time to bring awareness to it. Catch it. And once you’ve caught it, do something that may seem a little counterintuitive, invite it to stick around for a bit. Name it. “Hey there overwhelm. I see you. Let’s spend some time together.”

• Observe it.
  Where is it in your body? What does it feel like (sharp, tight, heavy, hot, cold)? What color is it? Even after completing just these two steps, you will already start to feel some pressure lifted.

• Pinpoint the thought.
  The feeling you are feeling is there because of a thought. Understanding that is imperative because it means when you are in a clear place, you can choose a different thought and create a different feeling.

• Experience it.
  Don’t be afraid of the negative feeling. Remind yourself that it is just a vibration in your body. It can’t hurt you. Experiencing it without judgement will allow it the space it needs to pass through and move on getting you to a clear place where you can choose an intentional thought to create a desired feeling.